Becoming Yourself.

Over the past week, there’s a few things that I’ve come to realise about myself, about others and about everything around me. I’ve been trying to figure it all out in my head and it’s never quite clicked until now, never quite understood how to attain the peace I’ve been wanting over the past year.

I always thought it was down to sculpting yourself on how you wanted to be. How you aimed in your life, how you must always be defiant of others if they were to stop you in your tracks but what I’ve learnt is more than this.

I’ve discovered me again.

There was once a time in my life when everyone heavily respected me. Upon growing up and moving away from what I actually am, I’ve pretty much slipped into the “normal” radar and become a normal person. I’ve never been normal. To be normal is to not have depth and depth is the one thing that I hold dear to me. There’s so many levels to me. I thought by trying to get them out in the open, I’d suddenly become a better person.

But from this journey of life, a simple week staying at your friends house is possibly the best thing you can do for yourself. Here’s the recent thing I’ve learnt.

Feelings are a part of me. I shouldn’t be ashamed to have them. I get nervous around people I like, I sometimes feel overshadowed by my best friend, I always feel bad for picking on my other best friend. These are feelings that I’ve always wanted to get rid of. But I’ve learnt it’s about accepting yourself for who you are. It’s about just going with the flow and letting life work itself out for you. Love people. Let them know. I’ve never been good with expressing feelings. I never will be. I do try though. Because I never know what I’m afraid of. Rejection isn’t something that has consequence. I should embrace it. But It’ll never leave me. I’ll always be scared. And for me, that’s a good thing. It makes me happy.

I don’t always have to speak. I was never a good talker anyway. I don’t plan to talk more than I have to from this point onwards. This makes me happy. I’m not trying to be something I’m not. I’m just being me again.

I have beautiful, amazing friends. The people I have affections for amaze me and excite me. It’ll never change and I don’t expect it to ever change again. I can focus on what’s important now. Focus on me. And focus on others.

The thing I want to aim for next is to just connect. I’ve been having trouble connecting with people. I’m not sure why. I don’t know if the physiological break down affected me and turned me into what I’m not but if it was. It’s time to recover and finally be happy again. Embrace my conflicts and make them beautiful. Never be ashamed of myself, be open. Enjoy everything. Be healthy. Look after others. Make life the picture it needs to be. Love everyone I see.

And keep it up.


-Joseph Condren-

from InExplicablyInsane http://inexplicablyinsane.blogspot.com/2012/05/becoming-yourself.html

INFJ Male: Do we make life hard for ourselves?

After beating around the bush with this Myerr-Briggs bullshit, I came to the conclusion that I’m quite an unhealthy INFJ. What this means is I cycle between INTJ and INFJ when I shouldn’t, I should stick to one. The only difference is that an INFJ is the same as an INTJ accept they have feelings. They hate critism. I hate it, I’ll be honest, everything that I take is taken to heart.

Now an INFJ basically means “The Protector” and it’s true in a sense. I’ll protect the ones I love with fierce intensity because having a relationship, a friendship or even communicating with me only happens because I permit it. A lot of my friends know my ruthlessness when it comes to cutting loose and not feeling any remorse. It’s quite a bad thing.

There’s only 0.5% of Males that happen to be INFJ’s. The reason is that we have extremely strong introverted intuition and extremely strong extroverted feelings. Our thinking and sensing are quite small. This means that if our thinking and sensing factors aren’t developed to grow, we have a very restrictive life to lead. I’ll tell you, from all of the methods I’ve learnt about the human mind, expression, talking to females, it’s all been difficult for me but I wanted the drive to master all of these things and I did. I’m considered normal.

Now onto when I wasn’t normal. I didn’t know how to comprehend life. It puzzled me as to why I wanted to stay inside all the time, why I wasn’t manly and always hugged girls, always was affectionate (this seemed to work as I had a TON of ex’s in school) and only grew out of it when I started falling in love with people. People like Kirsty, Trish, Vicki, Poppy, Christina, these 5 were the ones that changed me, or should I say, made me more me then I was before I met them.

INFJ’s are extremely misunderstood. We are known as the most difficult lovers but once you understand us, we become the best lovers. I haven’t really understood myself until I found Myerr-Briggs. I thought I was just good at burying emotions deep down and locking them up, giving off the impression that I don’t need any kind of affection.

But there will always be a hole in me. As an INFJ, I was never meant to be alone at any time. I’m built to last by myself but I wasn’t created to last alone. I want to embrace being an INFJ, embrace my feelings and it’s tough. I don’t know why but it’s tough. I guess it’s opening a weakness, it gives people power over me and I don’t like that. Power is evil and whilst I’m shown to be evil myself, there’s always some weakness behind it.

My aim for the next year is to get back in touch with my feelings. Embrace my feelings for females. Let them have their chance with me. Sure, I’m not a catch to some but to others, I’m what they need. I should realise this rather than choosing whoever I want. I should let someone choose me for once.

So, if anyone’s reading this, if anyone actually gives a damn, all I ask from you is that you hug me if you see me. Just hug me. And if you want me? Tell me. Now’s your chance.

I fucking love hugs.

from InExplicablyInsane http://inexplicablyinsane.blogspot.com/2012/04/infj-male-do-we-make-life-hard-for.html

[Rant] Now you’re just being fucking lazy!

I was ranting about this on Facebook earlier so I’ll turn it into a quick blog post.

Right, I’ll start off with lady-boys who’re more in touch with their emotions than I am.

You know those cunts that take webcam photo’s of themselves and fit these categories:

• Topless
• Facial posing
• Tattoos on display
• Long hair
• Not looking directly at the camera
• Vests
• Posing in general

I feel like these people compensate for their “game” with women by juicing up their appearance. From common media, tattoos are shown as sexy and long hair is always a hit with the ladies as long as it’s thinned out and has two colours in it. 

Oh, I’m sorry, does it mean you’re embracing your genetically brilliant good looks or do you just want to appear badass so you actually feel like you’re worth something? Give it 10 years, see how far it gets you.

Now moving on to Females.

Nothing annoys me more .. I’m not even going to bullet point this but when a girl takes a direct picture of herself at a perfect angle, that’s she’s practices countless times, for recognition that she KNOWS she’ll get because she’s a fucking expert with makeup and has had more hair colours than Pamela Anderson has seen dick, it annoys the fuck out of me. Is that all there is to you, girls? Is that fucking it? You were born with something other people don’t have? Aren’t you lucky, dick. Behind the face, we probably have an empty, pathetic, shallow little cunt with nothing that stands out apart from an ego that thinks she deserves everything for no reason and relies on others for any sort of joy. Enjoy being a waste of space and nothing but being good to look at, whorebag. 

I’m pretty sure I could say more but I have to sleep and be ready for a therapeutic jog in the morning. Because this weight didn’t lose itself by having tattoos or wearing make up. 

Ciao, guys.

P.s. if you post a picture on Facebook AND lyrics that have no relation to the fucking picture then fuck you, worthless cunt. 

from InExplicablyInsane http://inexplicablyinsane.blogspot.com/2012/03/rant-now-youre-just-being-fucking-lazy.html

Recovery + INxJ?!

Good news, chaps. I’ve recovered. My drive for work, my passion for life and my stunningly handsome face and flat hair have now been thrown back into my plan of action!

Self-Belief has come back, my confidence has actually gotten better and I think I’ve transcended to a higher being that I was before. Time to put it all into practice and make sure that I exhaust my potential to the extreme!

Anyway, to start off, after further research into “me” and personality types, including the Big five which didn’t help at all, I’ve found a little glitch in the matrix. The IN”x”J bit. T standing for “Thinking” and F standing for “Feeling”. Apparently, I’m both. I can feel but I also think. This makes me even rarer as it also describes why I’m not like other socially devoid INTJ‘s as socialising, I’m pretty shit hot at.

Now I didn’t know you could be both, I always thought it was one or the other. This actually lead me to believe that I was ambiverted rather than just an introvert but after the breakdown, it was delicious by the way, I took advantage of it and moulded in a new perspective. Feeling and the need to socialise. I nearly became extroverted but a few good books and some shitty drawing fixed me back into place!

I guess all this really means is that I can put feelings into my thoughts now. I can become passionate about things, write more about personal positives rather than negatives, it could become my worst trait or it could become my best, we’ll have to wait and see. All I know is one thing.

I’m going to put it straight to use.

Yes, I know this one was short but it was more about me, not you and not about technology.

Also, expect a blog post about my site, Gigsets.com, and how you can smell it. Yes, smell it.

Related articles

• ambivert (charlothernandez.wordpress.com)
• Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain – review (guardian.co.uk)
• The Ambivert Advantage (customerthink.com)
• Let me be as antisocial as I want! (biobreak.wordpress.com)

from InExplicablyInsane http://inexplicablyinsane.blogspot.com/2012/03/recovery-inxj.html

Recovery + INxJ?!

Good news, chaps. I’ve recovered. My drive for work, my passion for life and my stunningly handsome face and flat hair have now been thrown back into my plan of action!

Self-Belief has come back, my confidence has actually gotten better and I think I’ve transcended to a higher being that I was before. Time to put it all into practice and make sure that I exhaust my potential to the extreme!

Anyway, to start off, after further research into “me” and personality types, including the Big five which didn’t help at all, I’ve found a little glitch in the matrix. The IN”x”J bit. T standing for “Thinking” and F standing for “Feeling”. Apparently, I’m both. I can feel but I also think. This makes me even rarer as it also describes why I’m not like other socially devoidINTJ‘s as socialising, I’m pretty shit hot at.

Now I didn’t know you could be both, I always thought it was one or the other. This actually lead me to believe that I wasambiverted rather than just an introvert but after the breakdown, it was delicious by the way, I took advantage of it and moulded in a new perspective. Feeling and the need to socialise. I nearly became extroverted but a few good books and some shitty drawing fixed me back into place!

I guess all this really means is that I can put feelings into my thoughts now. I can become passionate about things, write more about personal positives rather than negatives, it could become my worst trait or it could become my best, we’ll have to wait and see. All I know is one thing.

I’m going to put it straight to use.

Yes, I know this one was short but it was more about me, not you and not about technology.

Also, expect a blog post about my site, Gigsets.com, and how you can smell it. Yes, smell it.

Ifttt

Holy shit, how have I not known about this amazing website before? This makes shit so much easier!

iffft.com

Just check it out, it’s pretty cool. As soon as I post this, iffft, will have updated nearly everything I have on the internet letting people know across every platform that I’ve made this post. Amazing.

This is some serious kiss-assing right now and I’m way too cool to keep this from people so here we go!

from InExplicablyInsane http://inexplicablyinsane.blogspot.com/2012/03/ifttt.html

Facebook Link!

If I post an interesting link on Facebook, it’ll arrive here! via Facebook

Brainwashing/Keto

I’m starting to become a little bit paranoid when it comes to governments. I feel that the foundations that have been advanced on from olden times still stick with us. Now I know I go on about how this diet I’m on, Keto, but it made me think a bit more into how and why it works so effectively and I can’t to this conclusion:

Read more at: http://inexplicablyinsane.com/insanity/

Oh, the cruel fates of the Internet..

Hello, dear viewers. 

As I own a self-hosted WordPress blog, I noticed that the social community from the WordPress.com site has been taken away from me!

So, this blog/account is purely for commenting!

If you’re curious, my blog is here:http://inexplicablyinsane.com/insanity/

My blog is about everything that interests me from gaming, life hacks, pro-tips, people, comedy, movies, pictures, videos, you name it. I regularly post everyday, with the exception of the odd day, and  make sure that the blog is fresh full of interesting content!

I hope my blog is interesting enough for you to visit regulary and comment on. I like viewers! Also, don’t forget to bookmark, join the Facebook and the Twitter!

See you on the other side, guys!